Changing Course

It's April 11th. That means I have been officially unemployed for over four months. They say the economy is slowing and that "recession" is looming. Oil futures are toying with record levels on a daily basis. What is there to be happy about?

To start with, I have a wonderful wife and an adorable daughter, both of whom I cherish. Oil prices and recessions will not take them from me. I also have the luxury of having very generous family willing to take us in while we are in transition between our past and future lives, forestalling the draining of our life savings.

I never imagined being in this situation-- a grown man well out of college and still having to wrestle with what I want to be when I "grow up." Yet I find myself in that very place, struggling to stretch my resume qualifications towards something new and different that I'd rather do. The military didn't do me much of a huge favor in this regard. I have tons of expertise and experience in doing things I felt somewhat ambivalent towards. Such is the whim of military bureaucracies.

On the one hand, there is a palpable sense of freedom when you decide
to completely alter the course of your life, as career changes can certainly do. You can throw off previous limits and pursue your passion.

But on the other hand, pursuing your passion is fraught with insecurity. I just happen to have a wife and daughter that have their own passions-- like eating, having a roof overhead, and perhaps even saving money for college.

Where to draw the line between what you can do and what you wish to do?

While I firmly believe that happiness is mostly a choice, I also believe that the decisions we make can make happiness either very elusive or much easier to attain. I'm hoping to find something I wish to do that just happens to provide reasonably for our family.


One lead I'm considering is becoming a federal agent. This is pretty good for the old ego, what with a fancy badge and a gun and all that. After all, Brad Pitt only gets to pretend he has all that. The pay is enough and the work would be meaningful. But it's very slow going to actually get to that job and I'm not keen to postpone my next career for the amount of time required to join this field. Government bureacracies generally move at a glacial pace, and there is a lot of valuable months of my life that would be squandered remaining in the near-perpetual transition state required by such a career choice.

Unfortunately, what my experience qualifies me to do doesn't interest me that much, and my interests are things I'm not technically qualified to do. My resume says I can manage airports and motor vehicle fleets, and just generally lead people and get things done. But I'd rather do something involving creative problem solving-- like engineering. I'm only qualified to do that in a broad sense by education. Maybe it willbe back to school for me?

If I can find a company willing to look past my resume and see that I'm much more than that-- then I could perhaps find a chance to expand beyond the pigeonhole of my current situation and pursue something more challenging and more satisfying.

So while this time is not without its stresses, I am beyond blessed to even have a chance to change, or to even be where I'm at in life. There are so many people stuck in miserable jobs they hate, with no realistic chance to escape. The are many other who can't even find a job-- some are in a career experiencing challenging times-- others are facing severe personal problems: divorce, addiction, depression, you name it. This time is not easy for me, but it is so much easier for us that it could be, and easier than it is for many others in similar conditions.

I'm so thankful that God has always been faithful in providing for me and my family. I trust that the choices I make are honoring to Him and reflect His will for us.
--Abby's Dad